Tuesday

The Basics of Understanding Your Child


In most cases, parents become hard and strict with their children. They scold and reprimand them for their behavior and in the end become sorry for doing so. Responsible parenthood entails understanding your child. Here are some tips on how you can succeed in this aspect of parenthood.

Get To Know Your Children
When you have the time, individually talk to each of your children. Tell them about traits that are unique to them. By doing so, a special bond with your child is established.  This way, you will be able to understand them better. 

Having the time to communicate with your child is crucial to becoming a responsible and successful parent. At the same time, it will help you in guiding your child as they mature. 

It is worthwhile. The payoff is the intimate knowledge of whom your child is, which lays the foundation for the guidance you offer them.

Treat Your Child According To Their Nature
Since your child is unique from each other, you need to treat them separately. What is applicable to one may not be the same with the other. The philosophy one-size-fits-all is not exactly applicable in this case. Doing so will create some problems with your relationship with your children.

You need to tailor your actions and treatment according to the nature of each child. It is important to train your child according their nature so they would not forget it even if they become old, which is what the Proverbs say.

Criticize Their Traits, Not Behavior
When reprimanding, criticize your child for the personality trait that led to the inappropriate behavior and not for their action. As the saying goes, you need to trim the root and not the fruit. Ignoring the trait that causes the bad choice can lead to similar results in the future.

Do not rebuke your child but concentrate on the trait that led them to do such action. The action may not be bad but it is what caused such behavior. The resulting behavior may have been the right one based on the bad trait so the latter is what you need to correct.

As a parent, you need to determine the real cause of the problem by rooting out the bad trait that led to the wrong action. This is only possible when you have an understanding of your child.

Praise Your Child for Their Action
On the other hand, the handling of a good personality trait should be positive. However, do not relate them to their action as this could pressure them to establish their goodness by constantly doing well. In the process, they could wear themselves down.

Bear in mind that your child has endowment of innate personalities. They will remain in your child so you need to harness them appropriately. Every one of us has our own tendencies, whether innate or developed through experience. We are not responsible for them but our liability is with our actions.

Teach Your Child To Harness Their Character
When it comes to personality traits, there are always two sides to it: positive and negative. Not getting angry is a positive character but it can also turn out to be a negative trait.

As a parent, you are responsible for teaching your child learn about their primary character traits as well as the strengths and challenges that they offer. Helping them understand their own personality traits can last a lifetime.

By following these tips, you will be able to master the skill of understanding your child and in the process ensure a harmonious relationship with your child.

RECOMMENDED LINKS:



Sunday

How to Understanding Your Child.

Understanding your child is one of the most important things that you should learn as a parent. It is very helpful in becoming effective in guiding and nurturing your child as they grow and mature. You need to bear in mind that your child has a unique personality trait that remains consistent throughout life. 

One of the ways you can understand your child is by observing them as they sleep, eat, or play. Look for the consistent traits. Which activities do they like best? Is adjusting to changes easy for them or do they need time to become familiar with these things? These things are the normal characteristics of a child and your child may not be an exception. 

As much as possible, have time to talk to your children, as this is crucial to gaining information and understanding. In the case of young children, they require less verbal language and more facial expression and body language in order to understand their thoughts and feelings. Asking them questions will allow them to share their feelings to you. 
 
For example, rather than asking them what they did in school; ask them what they built with their blocks today. Instead, of asking them if they played with their playmate, focus on the game they played.

Another way of understanding your child is by looking at their environment in order to learn about a certain behavior that you have observed. Relatives, childcare providers, friends, teachers, the community, the home setting, and other aspects of the environment can play a crucial role in the behavior of your child. For example, if your child is showing aggressiveness towards other children at school, you may want to find out all the possible sources of their aggressive behavior.

Some possible angles would be their association with another child who is showing aggressive tendencies as well. The environment at home is another possible source for such behavior. Have there been conflicts and arguments at home lately that your child there watching? These are some angles, which you should consider when trying to find the reason behind your child's aggressive behavior.

In addition, you can learn about your child by observing other children belonging to the similar age group. You can check out books, browse the Internet, and attend a class about child development. Bear in mind that you went through the same stages as a child so more or less the behavior of children in that same stage would be similar. However, the speed of development through each stage is a personal thing.

By understanding your child's development, you will be able to provide them with opportunities as well as toys that can boost their development and prepare them for the next phase of their growth. At the same time, you as a parent would be able to set expectations and limits that are acceptable to your child.

Being a responsible parent is hard especially currently when parents spend more time working rather than being with their kids. Quality time is difficult to achieve when you are trying to juggle your time between corporate life and parenthood. Not many people achieve success in parenthood and this could be frustrating on your part. Understanding your child is one effective way of becoming successful in the art of parenting.

RECOMMENDED LINKS:




Saturday

How to Save Your Collapsing Marriage.

Some little conflicts usually arise few years after marriage between the couples and this makes marriage life become stressful and boring. How will one know that his or her marriage is in a crisis? So many reasons are responsible for disturbed marriage such as financial difficulty, alcohol abuse, feeding difficulty, difficulty with children, unfaithfulness by both the partners, fertility problem and major life changes.

Conflicts in marriage may be caused by any of these: broken trust, infidelity, boredom, lack of respect, lack of affection, poor communication, hurtful statements, lack of appreciation, emotional abuse, selfishness, absence of sex, addictive behaviour and in-laws interference. When there is crisis in marriage, the two partner should try finding solutions on how to save their marriage.

The moment you realize that there is no peace in your marriage, don't hesitate in finding solutions to solve the lingering problem. Try to locate the cause of the problems, then find ways to adopt in order to save your collapsing marriage from collapsing which might lead to divorce and regrets. There are always hopeful ways to resolve marriage conflicts. Conflicts in marriage may be caused by ego or misunderstanding.

Hence, to maintain happy and healthy relationship, you should do away with ego and take an initiative of ending the lingering problems in your marriage life. Assessing yourself is an important approach to save your collapsing marriage. Always think of your mistakes and find ways to change and improve your behaviour. Avoid doing or saying those things that always hurts your partner.

There are approaches that are of great benefit of in saving a collapsing marriage. If you actually want to become a better partner, you should give listening ears to your partner and try to understand him or her. You should also be able to stay calm and discuss the problem in peace. When you are discussing with your partner, you should ask related and relevant questions to clarify all doubts and differences.

Good and open communication is a vital factor for developing a healthy and happy relationship. You should discuss all problems, feelings and differences with your partner. Fully trusting your partner and not being jealous of his or her professional and personal progress is very important.

The way to approach your relationship and marriage life should always be positive. Whenever conflicts or problems arises that lead to bitterness, always reflect back to those happy moments spent together and make effort to revive and reignite those moments back. When there are conflicts or problems, don't get so disturbed or panic, always stay calm and be yourself.

Whenever you find it difficult to control your temperament especially during any argument, generally, you tend to say and do things that you didn't mean to say or do.

Creating long term plans with your partner is another best way to save your marriage. Make plans to spend vacations that can be memorable at good picnic spot. Future plans made together will help to increase marriage intimacy and love. It will give you assurance that your partner will always be there for you when you need him or her.

Your overall personal hygiene is also a great factor on your marriage life. Hence, always try to be presentable the way your partner will admire and cherished you. And also adopt hygienic habits. With these, saving a collapsing marriage should never be a difficult or problematic issue to deal with any more.

Try some of the above possible approaches and change your married life to a happy, pleasant and hassle-free one.

RECOMMENDED LINKS:
How to Forgive Your Partner