In
most cases, parents become hard and strict with their children. They scold and
reprimand them for their behavior and in the end become sorry for doing so.
Responsible parenthood entails understanding your child. Here are some tips on
how you can succeed in this aspect of parenthood.
Get To Know Your Children
When
you have the time, individually talk to each of your children. Tell them about
traits that are unique to them. By doing so, a special bond with your child is
established. This way, you will be able
to understand them better.
Having
the time to communicate with your child is crucial to becoming a responsible
and successful parent. At the same time, it will help you in guiding your child
as they mature.
It
is worthwhile. The payoff is the intimate knowledge of whom your child is,
which lays the foundation for the guidance you offer them.
Treat Your Child According To Their
Nature
Since
your child is unique from each other, you need to treat them separately. What
is applicable to one may not be the same with the other. The philosophy
one-size-fits-all is not exactly applicable in this case. Doing so will create
some problems with your relationship with your children.
You
need to tailor your actions and treatment according to the nature of each
child. It is important to train your child according their nature so they would
not forget it even if they become old, which is what the Proverbs say.
Criticize Their Traits, Not Behavior
When
reprimanding, criticize your child for the personality trait that led to the
inappropriate behavior and not for their action. As the saying goes, you need
to trim the root and not the fruit. Ignoring the trait that causes the bad
choice can lead to similar results in the future.
Do
not rebuke your child but concentrate on the trait that led them to do such
action. The action may not be bad but it is what caused such behavior. The
resulting behavior may have been the right one based on the bad trait so the
latter is what you need to correct.
As
a parent, you need to determine the real cause of the problem by rooting out
the bad trait that led to the wrong action. This is only possible when you have
an understanding of your child.
Praise Your Child for Their Action
On
the other hand, the handling of a good personality trait should be positive.
However, do not relate them to their action as this could pressure them to
establish their goodness by constantly doing well. In the process, they could
wear themselves down.
Bear
in mind that your child has endowment of innate personalities. They will remain
in your child so you need to harness them appropriately. Every one of us has
our own tendencies, whether innate or developed through experience. We are not
responsible for them but our liability is with our actions.
Teach Your Child To Harness Their
Character
When
it comes to personality traits, there are always two sides to it: positive and
negative. Not getting angry is a positive character but it can also turn out to
be a negative trait.
As
a parent, you are responsible for teaching your child learn about their primary
character traits as well as the strengths and challenges that they offer.
Helping them understand their own personality traits can last a lifetime.
By
following these tips, you will be able to master the skill of understanding
your child and in the process ensure a harmonious relationship with your child.
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1 comments:
This great info! I especially like the positive reinforcement angle. My son knows how to get what he wants because he is well-behaved, not the other way around.
Also, I think understanding your child involves understanding their fears. I never tell my son to stop being afraid or to stop crying. I really cannot stand when people do that. I have taught him to feel his emotions and process why he feels that way.
As a result his ability to reason and his independence are remarkable. People usually think he's older than his age because of it.
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